


starved for affection

by yamatsukkei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Lowercase, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21737209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamatsukkei/pseuds/yamatsukkei
Summary: how much was too much?kei didn't know, and because he didn't know, he should have asked; find out so he didn't have to not know anymore. but he didn't.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	starved for affection

**Author's Note:**

> self-projecting, perhaps? yes. i wanted to add more to it but this is all i had in me to write and i just wanted it out there so yeh

how much was too much?

kei didn't know, and because he didn't know, he should have asked; find out so he didn't have to not know anymore. but he didn't.

he never would have struck himself as the clingy, needy type. he supposed he should have seen this coming years ago, during the week that his other half had been away on a family trip, and kei couldn't explain why he was so snippy and prone to hostile verbal attacks on others, then. not even his brother could convince him that it was because he felt like something was missing, because he knew it was true, yet turned a blind eye to that strange feeling. if yamaguchi had commented on the way kei stuck to him like glue the day he got back, he didn't remember.

maybe it had dwindled down, this strange, weird feeling of his. after that trip had happened, yamaguchi never really left his side. not for longer than three days, at least. he doesn't remember feeling like something was missing, not this strongly. it must have shrunk, only to bloom and overwhelm him quite unexpectedly today, for some reason.

kei couldn't explain it, nor did he have the courage to break through this tension he's pressed himself into.

he glanced over at yamaguchi, who was sitting on his bed, playing pokémon without a care in the world. he glanced at himself, who was curled up in the worn beanbag chair yamaguchi had bought him a year ago. listening to music and giving off the impression that he didn't want to be bothered, when that could have been farther from the truth. but how could anyone else tell?

he's right there. say something, kei. you want something from him. so get it.

kei squirmed uncomfortably under his own aggressive thoughts. eyes turning back to his phone, he scrolled through his music library to find something to listen to, something other than what he was currently listening to.

just say something, kei.

his mouth was sealed shut, unable to open or make a sound, and he had no idea why. he didn't know why he couldn't say anything, and yamaguchi was none the wiser, which he was simultaneously glad and upset for.

ahhhh. this truly was the worst.

if he couldn't say something, he'll just have to do something instead. so with a shaky resolve at best, he got up, crawling onto his bed, and promptly fell against yamaguchi's shoulder, already feeling a little better from the warmth that radiated from him.

"tsukki?" he questioned, eyes cast down at him as he made himself comfortable so kei could lay into his side as he wanted. kei just shook his head, still unable to explain anything. his feelings, and his actions alike. he didn't know why it was hard to do so. he supposed nerves just got the better of him, and his mind stewed angrily within itself as he thought about what exactly it was that he wanted.

yamaguchi shifted slightly, so kei could see his screen. he watched as yamaguchi's snivy was brought into battle, laughing softly as yamaguchi turned his head to try and hide the flush on his cheeks. apparently he had named the snivy after him.

yet even with this burst of happiness, it wasn't large in presence as was his uneasiness. it wasn't enough, and that upset kei, because he didn't want to bother him more. he was selfish. but he really wanted affection at that moment.

it felt good to admit it to himself.

he just hugged him close, curling up next to him, and yamaguchi once again put down his game to look at kei, who only buried his head into his side, not looking back at him. from the small amused huff the other gave, along with a gentle hand that ran through his hair, kei let out a sigh.

"you're being really cute today, tsukki."

kei smiled into the soft cotton of his clothes, but made no comment still as his grip around the other tightened just a little. at the lack of response yet again, yamaguchi closed his ds, pushing it to the side to lean over him, enveloping him into a warm, warm hug. he seemed to finally understand the state he was in, to some extent.

kei didn't want to tell him everything. not yet. it was a lot to keep in, but not enough to completely ruin himself.

he was glad that yamaguchi understood that, and kei sighed, as he was given soft kisses all over his face. it wasn't enough, but barely passing his growing quota for the day. 

he wondered if he would ever be satisfied living as he did, but he figured, one day he would speak his mind. one day he'll be able to tell him what he wants without crumbling in on himself.

for now he just had to live on yamaguchi's semi accurate guesses.


End file.
